My Present to you, Merry Christmas Eve!

SCAN, The Secret Council of American Negros, your council, is found at http://since1865.blogspot.com/ . Prepare yourself for endless enjoyment.

One of the functions of your council is to take out folk who don't know how to act. Left of the blog roll, you'll find a list of "the fallen" which includes some of our favorite personalities to gab about (Kwame Kilpatric, Debra Lee, Wesley Snipes, Sherri-the-black-idiot-on-the-view, Bobby Brown, the NAACP...)

In addition to getting reports from it's spies and operatives; your council hosts regular meetings where y'all get together to combat major-league bullshit. The HNIC's identity is a secret, but the rest of the attendees will be familiar to you. One of my favorites is a September transcript of a board meeting called "the race card" where Mitt Romney and Al Sharpton are brought in with burlap sacks over their heads. Michelle Barnard is disgusted SCAN's even contemplating using the race card to help Obama. She describes it as the "Nuclear Option" and is totally over it. Mitt coquetishly asks what they're talking about, Al Shartpton elbows him and hillarity ensues (Al's application to your council keeps getting "lost," so he's trying to be well behaved... tee hee; just read it)

There's also the "Palin issue" which you deal with pretty actively and bring in the big guns. Zahara Jolie-Pitt is your youngest badass spy installed into the Jolie-Pitt household to wreak havok on the mainstream entertainment industry on behalf of the cause... Ooh ooh ooh.. Another great dialogue: the briefing Condaleeza Rice gives Barack Obama. sigh...

If the idea of a real-life organization of this magnitude wasn't so appealing, I would find it ridiculous, but these guys hit so many truthful notes, the shit just cracks me up. Seriously. I hope you enjoy it:

Good health to your people over the holidays, If given the opportunity I suggest ya slap a kiss right on your father's mouth :-) Scrub