Feelings are not facts

But it hurts when you feel rejected.

And it's worse when I am helping in my own rejections!

Half the things actually happen. No doubt. But the past that we react to it the past we completely make up.

I made up most of my most recent cray cray with the African.

The truth is he loves and respects me.

The truth is I was so jealous and insecure I created a whole other woman situation with very little help.

It was dramatic and painful. And horrible.
It made uncomfortable at the place where I'm supposed to be the safest.

And the devil sure uses those shortcomings to make you almost fuck everything up.

I was the devil's palything this month.

I have to be honest. If I was where I was supposed to be. Even people doing things to you shouldn't be able to completely destroy you.

So I felt it all. The anger and tell fear and tell self loathing and the fear of abandonement.

It put me in a place where I didn't feel loved.

When the thruth is. God loves me and I'm the mist blessed person on this planet.

So it's time to read and think and pray that God removes the shortcomings.

Fear jeaously envy possessiveness guilt.

Feelings of inadequacy. Laziness manipulative Ness. Obsession. Anger and meaness.

Hate and fear. Diapmfuat and selfishness.

All play apart in my cray cray.

Judgemental Ness too. And dishonest.

Loneliness and sorrow. Tears and yelling and being closemindedness to others plight.

Arorgance. Conceit. Pride and ego

Laziness and not thinking of others. Fat.