The hidden me is worth getting to know

So your darling Scrub has been hiding.

There have been mental health stuff, weight stuff, leaving NYC stuff, sobriety stuff, love stuff.

But I woke up this morning pretty satisfied because I realized,

I HAVE been hiding; laying in my bed, sitting at my computer.

To my credit, (and everyone's disapproval,) I've been hiding in plain sight. I haven't been lying. I've been vulnerable to peoples' judgements. I have been open about my challenges. I have been listening to my thoughts good and bad.

I've been looking at the parts of me not shared with the outside. The hidden parts.

And it's been time well spent. My hidden parts are worth getting to know.

The hiding is decreasing, as I now emerge. To get healthy in body. To start dealing with folk again. I won't forget my hidden parts. 

The hidden parts inform my outward choices. I see how now.

The hidden parts are HUGE; actually make up the majority of me. I appreciate that now.

and while some of the hidden stuff is still shrouded in shame, and fear. It is much less now.

Moreover some of the hidden parts are downright romantic, idealistic, beautiful and worthy of the attention I now give them. Still, none of my hidden part are subject to public consumption.

I looked in the mirror this afternoon and I saw so much more of Scrub. Her eyes revealed a capacity for ideas, a willingness to embark, and a little mystery that was lovely. Her cheekbones rose when she smiled at herself, revealing a truly mature beautiful face.

I took my own breath away.

YAY hidden parts!!