Jumbled

This situation

I'm feeling jumbled.

He doesn't kiss me.
We don't have an adequate sex life
I don't feel sexy
I feel fat
I've been told I have no self worth
I'm an alcoholic

I'm jealous of time the African sounds with this girl

He wants to help people

He needs to help her

I betrayed him with my x a year ago

That was the biggest mistake of my life

He doesn't see or feel a problem

I can't go to a meeting where she is there

Her texts and phonecalls and greetings hell any interactions are not welcome.

I want to be godly

I want to be a good person

I want to embrace women

Maybe I'll feel better thinner

I want ice cream