January 26th daily reflections

JANUARY 26 

RIGOROUS HONESTY 

Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution 

for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry A.A. 's message to the next sufferer? No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn't care for this prospect—unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself. 

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24 

I am an alcoholic. If I drink I will die. My, what power, energy, and emotion this simple statement generates in me! But it's really all I need to know for today. Am I willing to stay alive today? Am I willing to stay sober today? Am I willing to ask for help and am I willing to be a help to 

another suffering alcoholic today? Have I discovered the fatal nature of my situation? What must I do, today, to stay sober?

Me- self centeredness is the core of my disease. I am lazy but I am progressing. The fact is doing all the above things makes everything better. There is value to these activities. And some days I'm even grateful I'm an alcoholic so that I serve, pray, meditate, confess. I've come to enjoy qualifying. I've seen kindness and love from AA ers incomparable to anything I've ever experienced in my life.

The writer opines that if she drinks she will die. I don't have to choose to believe that. It's extremely evident to anyone with eyes that's the fact for me. The severity of my disease is devastating. I look with admiration at those who have has higher bottoms. Those who God blessed and they CHOSE to come in. For me it's a irrefutable fact. When I drink only modern medicine saves my life.