Interesting reactions, i had

To the Facebook killer in Cleveland.

I wrote this to my friends in South Florida.

"Condolences on your frat in Cleveland. Interesting occurrence to unfold in front of the world, huh? I certainly had my reactions. Have a good day."

I knew addiction had something to do with it.

I was scared for him. I know there was no way he would end up alive.

The talking heads said things that truly bothered me, diagnosing his criminality. "Criminal minds" style. In a way that was totally anti to my intuition.

It was safe

Should i write it down?

Or let it just work out on its own?

I have issues with my African.  I have issues with God. I have issues with the other humans walking around. I have issues with my body.

I have more than a few with your Scrub herself.

Not relationship ending stuff. Just things that might get in the way stuff.

He doesn't answer questions.
He's judgemental
The fact that he had my ex followed and interrogated.
Sometimes we don't connect physically.
I'm fat
It's not healthy
It's not sexy
It's getting in the way
I'm not doing what I need to do about it.
I'm not praying  enough.
I'm not pursuing my steps
I'm not staying sober this way
It's not sustainable
I'm not a good friend
I don't really know how to be one
Somehow I think being thin will fix things.
Somehow my hair is quite horrible right now.
I need to be more aggressive about my license. I need to sign up and get it done.
It will cost money
I need to pay it.
It will be harder the longer I wait.
This is an opportunity.

I need to take it.

It's Easter and my man is handsome.

Other people's import

Any effort in persuasion is simply about changing the gauge on someone's import.

So let's start with the African.

Labels, countries, being right, other people knowing it, Morality, Moral authority. God.

Here are where our gauge is not in the same place.

The scrub tends to find rejection when they don't match.

She feels oppressed when others impress their gauge on her.

More on this later

Starting to see the body politic...

With some realism.

I saw an analysis on Rachel Maddow. If I'm good I'll find the link and put it here for you.

2017:  Dems 38%. Republicans 22%

2013: Dems 37%. Republicans 86%.

Same question. The swing was 64% on the Republican side. 1%on the Democratic side.

Just to put a pin in it. Exact same important question. "Do you support an American air strike over Syria?"

The truths to pull?

Democrats care about issues.
Republicans respect party.
Dems didn't seem to care who was on office for their view.
The only thing that was considered by Republicans is who is leading, even when it's international.
Which is scary.
Democrats tend to be on the right side of history... Wonder why? Less influenced by personality.

So what? What that really means Republicans are victim to the cult of personality. The issues will never be persuasive to them.

Trump's going to get re elected. So long as personality rules the political landscape. They have the more compelling personalities.

Period. The Democratic party had to begin to understand it.
Nicole needs to understand it. It's not just politics.

Something to use. I have life to catch up.

Facts are facts. But as I was telling someone, and I really should listen to myself more. They are only as important as the import we place upon them.

Gravitas is all about how much import things have.

Nicole, start paying attention to people's import.

Nicole. How do you influence, deflate, manipulate people's import?

Start with the little things.

And for goodness sake, stop thinking your import matters simply because it's yours!!

Really good night's sleep

I feel asleep in MY bed.
Early.

Sober

Not hanging on to my African

Next to him. But on my own

I dreamt of my family. I was telling at members, my sister, my mom, Daddy. Saying hurtful emotional things, in a mean way in front of people.

I was hurt. Telling the way I felt. Insulting them. Bring mean about the way I was saying it. Using the way I turn a phrase to be emotional nah mad. Hurting them wanting to hurt them by reacting to my feelings.

I got it out.

It turned into some befit fashion show to talk about the cracker Johnson house
2006 I call it the compound.
The place"my family" bought in

The fashion show had an interesting audience. Jerome was there. Kissing me.

At one point I was supposed to be a witness. To talk about things.

I pretended to be shy. Just got the befit of the audience

It was Natalie's turn to speak. She showed off a beautiful linen white dress. But the the MC said"pH no. I have to toot this dress. It's blah designer then when u looked the dress changed into something mouth more boogie.

I woke up. Thinking what would I have with

I was laying in bed feeling awake and good. Centered. Glad I was mad in the dream. Feeling good.

I would have with something simple. Black wife beater in a beautiful thin body, with black skinny jeans and my boots.

Thinking inside, I don't have to defend my self Judy reveal myself

The was a pussy if the dream where, I went to my mom. Hired her and said I was sorry. Cried and hugged her.

The as a part of the dream where I yelled at my dad for some silly comment about how I could have graduated high school early.

I feel very good right now.

I love my family
I love my dream have me an IP print to live in my feeling s.

I'm going to have a glass of water and watch politics

It's five am.

Spring?

I think it's here.

The weather only gets better. I've got to get to the gym.

Sexy body, here I come!!

If I was still active

I certainly would be drinking right now. But I'm not, so I'm not. So I'm making excuses for why I'm tolerating my African's​ surveillance.

But it's not ok for him to do it.

How do I make that clear?

It's definitely not alright for him to have my ex under surveillance.

Regardless of how mad you are.

You're but allowed to do that to people.

It's wrong.

What the hell am I supposed to do m now?

I'm responsible for this whole situation.

Aw, hell.

Success

I finished the test for my course for my licensing. I passed it. Barely.

Wasn't prepared, for it. But I passed

God passed it.

I need to feel grateful. I am.

I'm riddled with guilt about what I did to my relationship. I'm riddled with selfishness and the fact that I'm a spoiled brat.

I need to pray and with on my sobriety and be a better person.

Sleepy

I'm so tired I was falling asleep in my dreams. Seriously